I've found the Putin invasion heart-breaking this past week. Gut wrenched, tears flowing, and a constant feeling and litany of "what can I do," "how can I help," and "I feel so powerless."
I've donated, I've posted links on facebook that felt supportive, and I've done my best to do my part, here in my own life to continue to meet every human being I interact with love and kindness.
As I continue to ponder and struggle with this and all bullying, tyranny, and destruction I find myself exploring within. I believe that we are each a microcosm for the all. Meaning that by meeting, witnessing, and working with the bully, tyrant, and destroyer that lives and functions within my own personality I can help to shift and expand that same energy that is at work in the Ukraine. As enough of us around the world do this kind of inner work I believe real miracles can and will occur.
Each of us has an underbelly of ugly, hidden, and shunned. The degree of how hidden these parts of you may vary but they are there. Hurt, angry, confused, hostile, and destructive, they wait for us to acknowledge them with care and understanding. This week I worked with my little girl who hates her body, a control freak who demands that everything work in the way he demands (bully much??), a workaholic who believes that I need to constantly be doing/achieving, and a destroyer who feels that all I create needs to be doubted and hidden. How do I work with these parts of myself I dislike and find really inconvenient? At this point in time I've become much better at making time for them and creating a space (either through journaling or using my voice to allow them to speak out loud for themselves) for them to communicate without censor or judgement. I do my best to meet each of them with love and empathy and if I am unable to honestly do that in the moment, I tell them that. "I wish I was able to meet you with understanding right now but I'm not there yet. I am willing to love you regardless and am willing to continue to listen."
I have found this practice to be so transformative. It is the groundwork for the calm and sense of presence others comment on when they interact with me.
What within is asking for your love and understanding? Will you listen before it feels desperate enough to take over and reek havoc? May we all continue to love ourselves and each other. All of our parts.