I've had quite a tumultuous relationship with making mistakes. I used to pride myself on making very few and when I did make them I was mortified. I thought they meant I was stupid, incompetent, or lazy. I spent a lot of time and energy practicing to be perfect and I spent years holding tension in my body to brace myself against mistakes.
I turned a big corner last January with my perfection illusion. I had the opportunity to play with an orchestra in a concert that really stretched me. I've played difficult pieces before and played with amazing musicians many times but something within me dissolved with this opportunity. The armor I had carefully built to hide, avoid, and brace myself to play perfectly fractured. It was a magical set of concerts where I was able to play beautifully, make some mistakes, notice other amazing, highly skilled musicians make mistakes, and STILL create music that was sublime, exciting, and beyond my wildest dreams. I understood in a visceral way that mastering a craft (or life, for that matter) has little to do with the mistakes you make. It has everything to do with how you handle the mistakes you WILL make.
Understanding this mastery has made a big difference in my life this past year. I'm no longer contributing to the immense physical stress, mental anguish, and emotional abuse I used to subject myself to. I have more of a sense of play around my daily tasks. I have a kindness I feel towards myself that I've never experienced. I'm happier and more flexible.
I still find myself in predicaments that test this new layer of being. Today I sent out an email blast to new and old friends introducing my new website to them all and asking them if they would like to subscribe to my mailing list. I created the email, checked my work, sent it out, and, wouldn't you know, I screwed up the website address. Within seconds, I have dear friends alerting me to my mistake. I was able to spend some more time with humiliation, mortification, and tension once more. They were just as powerful and insidious as they used to be. I courted them for a time..... before remembering that I didn't need to invite them to stay, and with a smile, a chuckle to myself, and a kind word, ushered them back out the door so I could embrace my humanity once again and simply fix the mistake:-)